I know that as many of you read the title to this particular thread of thought, you will feel as if I have just committed the verbal equivalent of mass murder. As your mind threatens to unravel at the mere mention of grammar, or spelling, or even punctuation, just remind yourself that English class is over and done with. You suffered through it, and you have succeeded, at least as far as making it out of the classroom.
But the point remains, hanging there like the invisible gorilla passing through the room.
(For those of you who have yet to know who that invisible gorilla might be or what on earth he has to do with grammar, see the link here for more information).
Grammar is more important than ever. It has been slowly creeping into the room, eventually coming to stand blatantly in the middle of the room, waving and staring with an odd little smile, just waiting for us to notice. Yet most of us continue to stare blankly at anything, everything, but the gorilla in the room.
I stand up now to say, PAY ATTENTION! The gorilla of grammar is there, and the sooner we learn to look for it, the better off in life we will be.
A new study posed in the journal of Psychological Science shows just how important the subject of grammar is to us all, even when we have decided ourselves far too old to sit in an English class anymore.
This study (Hart & Albarracín, 2011) asked participants to sit as judge over a "criminal case". They were given a list of what a person "was doing" or a list of what a person "did". They then rated whether they thought the person was innocent or guilty, and whether the actions were intentional.
What started as an innocent little grammar problem turned into very real results. People rated the person who "was doing" things as having more harmful intent, and therefore was also rated with a "guilty" verdict more frequently.
Is it simple grammar anymore? The way a question is posed can alter the answer. Suddenly the gorilla of grammar is hard to ignore.
So instead of beating our chests, hooting and hollering, about how we have to listen to our English teachers when they tell us "grammar is important", why don't we sit down and take the time to look over what we write?
If a blog is your thoughts put out on the Web, why not stop and take the time to make them thoughtful? Don't be afraid to embrace your spellchecker. Don't be afraid to wonder "should I use than or then"? And don't be afraid to wave back to that "monkey in the middle" and use his odd little grin to your advantage.
Thursday, February 17
Tuesday, February 15
25 commandments that every writer should follow
The 25 Commandments
This article is one that every writer no matter what the discipline or diploma, should think about and take to heart.
Whether a weekend blogger or someone who aspires to loftier publications, this article sums up one thing that every writer should know: that in order to be a good writer, there first must be something worth reading.
I think that the best piece of advice that any writer could give to another is to write as you want to be read. If you are humorous or dry, funny or merely informational, convey this with a sense of purpose and passion that only you can convey.
As for the mothers out there, these rules apply not only to writing, but to our daily interactional lives as parents, as women, and as any sort of classification you may see yourself under. So here is an abbreviated 10 commandments of motherhood:
1. In daily life, there is only one person who matters. Sometimes you cannot see it, sometimes that person is not the same as what you may see in the mirror. Regardless, that person is you.
2. You are not here to impress anyone, not even yourself. You are here for instruction, guidance, and discipline.
3. Your first reaction to any situation is and will always be the most important. Choose carefully.
4. Have humility. Never be too full of yourself to see your children and their needs.
5. No one has to listen to you, not even your children. Make yourself into someone worth listening to, and you will earn their respect.
6. "Because I say so" has never been an acceptable response. Use it accordingly.
7. Just because a child is small in stature does not mean that they are small in intelligence. If you must explain, do not make the mistake of thinking it is because they are not smart. It is simply because they have never had the experience required to understand. Children are often more intelligent than we give them credit for.
8. Life is complicated. It always will be. The more complicated it is, the more our children look to us for explanation. Don't make that explanation more complicated than the question.
9. Keep it simple, and make it short. Nothing gives children more excuse not to finish chores than a long and complicated story.
10. There is only one story to be told, no matter how many parts it may have. Keep that in mind when helping or giving advice. Just because your child is not good at a task does not mean that inability will define their life. There are just many parts to the one beautiful whole that is your child.
This article is one that every writer no matter what the discipline or diploma, should think about and take to heart.
Whether a weekend blogger or someone who aspires to loftier publications, this article sums up one thing that every writer should know: that in order to be a good writer, there first must be something worth reading.
I think that the best piece of advice that any writer could give to another is to write as you want to be read. If you are humorous or dry, funny or merely informational, convey this with a sense of purpose and passion that only you can convey.
As for the mothers out there, these rules apply not only to writing, but to our daily interactional lives as parents, as women, and as any sort of classification you may see yourself under. So here is an abbreviated 10 commandments of motherhood:
1. In daily life, there is only one person who matters. Sometimes you cannot see it, sometimes that person is not the same as what you may see in the mirror. Regardless, that person is you.
2. You are not here to impress anyone, not even yourself. You are here for instruction, guidance, and discipline.
3. Your first reaction to any situation is and will always be the most important. Choose carefully.
4. Have humility. Never be too full of yourself to see your children and their needs.
5. No one has to listen to you, not even your children. Make yourself into someone worth listening to, and you will earn their respect.
6. "Because I say so" has never been an acceptable response. Use it accordingly.
7. Just because a child is small in stature does not mean that they are small in intelligence. If you must explain, do not make the mistake of thinking it is because they are not smart. It is simply because they have never had the experience required to understand. Children are often more intelligent than we give them credit for.
8. Life is complicated. It always will be. The more complicated it is, the more our children look to us for explanation. Don't make that explanation more complicated than the question.
9. Keep it simple, and make it short. Nothing gives children more excuse not to finish chores than a long and complicated story.
10. There is only one story to be told, no matter how many parts it may have. Keep that in mind when helping or giving advice. Just because your child is not good at a task does not mean that inability will define their life. There are just many parts to the one beautiful whole that is your child.
Tuesday, February 8
The world of blogs
Blog- a monster of being that can grow on its own, follows you everywhere, and can be either the friendly family dog or a snarling mongrel that snaps at everyone and foams at the mouth when provoked.
The evolution of this strange animal is the idea that sometimes there is a glimpse of truth that no one realized was there. The white elephant in the room suddenly happens to appear on the dining room table and there is nothing you can do about it.
The weather can affect the affectations of the blog. When its dreary outside, no one can be happy, not even the blog. When its sunny outside the blog will be good, but even the blog has his fickle moods.
Sometimes the blog will bite you. That one good story suddenly takes on a life all its own, far from your own ambitions and expectations. The ideas that you created become something you never thought they would be. And those ideas can crush you, wound you, and make you do things and say things that you are sure to regret.
But the blog can also be your friend. There is the unexpected warmth you feel when you boot up the computer and see the comments left by friends and adoring fans. The blog can make you see the wonder that is life, and the ideas that you create can help to enhance it.
“The subject of the blog matters, whether there should be a voice in that blog or not.”
The paper was designed for truth, facts, and hard information. The radio was created to send out the voice, to entertain and to weave the music of the masses into daily life. The television was created to show what all the rest couldn’t tell with words alone.
But what about the blog? What is this beast’s purpose? For now, we can only speculate quietly to ourselves as we hopefully pat this animal on the head.
Thursday, January 27
When freedom is no longer about being free
I read a few articles the other day that really made me stop to think.
The first, by the New York Times, showed a fascinating, if somewhat miserable example of modern-day suburban parenting.
Not Quite a Reporter, but Raking Muck and Reaping Wrath
A local blogger, Daniel Cavanagh, wrote and posted pictures on his blog about a group of kids that decided Halloween night was made for throwing items at passersby: including "rocks, potatoes and other things". Now, unfortunately (as my Grandma would tell me with a sigh reminiscent of my own childhood): These things do happen.
But what truly angered me was not the fact that the children were throwing rocks. It was the parents' behavior that had me appalled. Instead of getting upset with their children for the rude and dangerous behavior, they turned their wrath upon the blogger.
Is this what we want the future of America to believe? What do we teach our children when we blame others instead of accepting the burden of responsibility ourselves?
Social loafing is a term used by sociologists and psychologists to define a habit that is rapidly spiraling out of control. "Someone else will take care of it," we think. Or that "it's somebody else's job." If we continue this habit, our children will continue these habits, and our society will continue loafing.
The second article was yet another example of deplorable upbringing, or perhaps simply the lack of emphasis upon the idea of reading as a form of pleasure.
Despite Distinctions, Los Angeles Times Loses Standing at Home
The newspaper is for news, folks of Los Angeles. Not society pages (we will leave that sort of journalism to the glossies at the grocery stores), not for the vast wealth of information overload (we will leave that to Bing.com to sort out), and not to comment on who's knocking elbows in the City of Angles (didn't they win a Pulitzer for that story?).
Learn to appreciate the world-class journalism, and not criticize the "class" of the paper it's printed on.
And then, sit back on the porch with a cup of coffee, and indulge in the pleasure that is the Los Angeles Times.
The first, by the New York Times, showed a fascinating, if somewhat miserable example of modern-day suburban parenting.
Not Quite a Reporter, but Raking Muck and Reaping Wrath
A local blogger, Daniel Cavanagh, wrote and posted pictures on his blog about a group of kids that decided Halloween night was made for throwing items at passersby: including "rocks, potatoes and other things". Now, unfortunately (as my Grandma would tell me with a sigh reminiscent of my own childhood): These things do happen.
But what truly angered me was not the fact that the children were throwing rocks. It was the parents' behavior that had me appalled. Instead of getting upset with their children for the rude and dangerous behavior, they turned their wrath upon the blogger.
Is this what we want the future of America to believe? What do we teach our children when we blame others instead of accepting the burden of responsibility ourselves?
Social loafing is a term used by sociologists and psychologists to define a habit that is rapidly spiraling out of control. "Someone else will take care of it," we think. Or that "it's somebody else's job." If we continue this habit, our children will continue these habits, and our society will continue loafing.
The second article was yet another example of deplorable upbringing, or perhaps simply the lack of emphasis upon the idea of reading as a form of pleasure.
Despite Distinctions, Los Angeles Times Loses Standing at Home
The newspaper is for news, folks of Los Angeles. Not society pages (we will leave that sort of journalism to the glossies at the grocery stores), not for the vast wealth of information overload (we will leave that to Bing.com to sort out), and not to comment on who's knocking elbows in the City of Angles (didn't they win a Pulitzer for that story?).
Learn to appreciate the world-class journalism, and not criticize the "class" of the paper it's printed on.
And then, sit back on the porch with a cup of coffee, and indulge in the pleasure that is the Los Angeles Times.
Tuesday, January 18
Life as a Student (and Mother)
Being a college student is hard, that is easy for most to admit. Gone are the days when your parents packed your lunch, helped you with your homework, drove you to school, and glued all those millions of pieces together so you could finish that diorama for science class... the night before it was due.
But what about all the students who are parents themselves?
Personally, the hardest part is the alarm. I set my clock so carefully, making sure to calculate and recalculate the time necessary to get everything done. And then? My child manages to wake me a full thirty minutes before the alarm goes off.
Then its the race around the house, the refusal to wear any shirt but the Favorite shirt, the negotiation of too hot/ too cold oatmeal for breakfast, how many raisins and another cup of milk, playing hide-and-go-seek for a pair of socks, for a pair of shoes.
Out the door, I am already exhausted. We must stop and say hello to the neighborhood dogs on the way to the car, then its time to buckle in, hand over the cup, pop in the cd, and hope to sneak a Pop-Tart or two on the drive to the daycare.
Then it's finally off to school for Mum. On the way, though, is the call from the center wondering if he's already had breakfast, the email reminder that there is a dentist's appointment in the near future, and the text from the husband wondering "How'd your morning go?"
Fighting traffic and pedestrians alike, trying to squeeze a family-sized car into an economy-sized space, and its off to class.
Which is interrupted, naturally, by the phone call from the center: You forgot to bring the diaper bag.
Looking down, you realize with horror that the bag you thought contained books, pencils, and notes contains coloring pages, crayons, and butt paste.
Welcome to the life of a student/mother - in training.
But what about all the students who are parents themselves?
Personally, the hardest part is the alarm. I set my clock so carefully, making sure to calculate and recalculate the time necessary to get everything done. And then? My child manages to wake me a full thirty minutes before the alarm goes off.
Then its the race around the house, the refusal to wear any shirt but the Favorite shirt, the negotiation of too hot/ too cold oatmeal for breakfast, how many raisins and another cup of milk, playing hide-and-go-seek for a pair of socks, for a pair of shoes.
Out the door, I am already exhausted. We must stop and say hello to the neighborhood dogs on the way to the car, then its time to buckle in, hand over the cup, pop in the cd, and hope to sneak a Pop-Tart or two on the drive to the daycare.
Then it's finally off to school for Mum. On the way, though, is the call from the center wondering if he's already had breakfast, the email reminder that there is a dentist's appointment in the near future, and the text from the husband wondering "How'd your morning go?"
Fighting traffic and pedestrians alike, trying to squeeze a family-sized car into an economy-sized space, and its off to class.
Which is interrupted, naturally, by the phone call from the center: You forgot to bring the diaper bag.
Looking down, you realize with horror that the bag you thought contained books, pencils, and notes contains coloring pages, crayons, and butt paste.
Welcome to the life of a student/mother - in training.
Thursday, January 13
And now a word from our sponsors...
This past year has been one of hectic changes and serious personal adjustments.
First of all, I lost my connection to the digital world with the poorly attached lid of a sipee cup full of juice (I gained comfort only in knowing that the death of my machine was instantaneous).
Then, the realities of living as both a college student and a mother truly sunk in, as the only way we could afford a new computer was through months of ramen noodles and a minor miracle.
And then, the world granted me a minor miracle, and all the noodles paid off. Computer firmly ensconced away from the terror of the two-year-old, I am finally back.
First of all, I lost my connection to the digital world with the poorly attached lid of a sipee cup full of juice (I gained comfort only in knowing that the death of my machine was instantaneous).
Then, the realities of living as both a college student and a mother truly sunk in, as the only way we could afford a new computer was through months of ramen noodles and a minor miracle.
And then, the world granted me a minor miracle, and all the noodles paid off. Computer firmly ensconced away from the terror of the two-year-old, I am finally back.
Saturday, July 3
I'm ready to move out
We have been living in this complex, which will remain unnamed here, for about a year now.
And I have to say, I am ready to move out.
A lot of people, when I told them the news, wanted to know why.
A few of my answers were...
maybe it was because of the poorly worded leasing contract, or the surprise month-in-advance we had to pay because we had no credit (good OR bad.)
maybe it was because the windows shaking out of their frames every time we had a little storm, and having to protect my things by stuffing towels and clothes in the window sill.
maybe it was because they only have TWO washing machines, and TWO dryers, for over 50 apartments.
maybe it was because there was not a single time in the entire year that both washers and both dryers all worked at the same time.
maybe it was because there was always construction, with noisy, rude workers. or maybe it was because they never seemed to even bother with tidying up after the job was done, leaving nails and rusted screws on my front doorstep, half-painted railings, and a roof that still leaks.
maybe it was because the air conditioning units haven't been cleaned once since they were put in, or that they weren't sealed up properly.
maybe it was because as soon as spring came around, there was no stopping the bugs from getting in, and no help getting them back out.
maybe it was because every storm that hit flooded the parking lot, or that management never came out to clean up afterwards.
maybe it was because of the swarms of gnats in my kitchen, the hordes of spiders in my bathroom, or the countless dead insects stuck between the window panes.
maybe it was because of the drug busts that kept us cooped up inside our apartment, fearful, for three hours, then two, then three again.
maybe it was because of the angry couples fighting in the lot, throwing beds and speakers and car jacks through windows and doorways and over railings.
maybe it was because of the crowds of barely 20s hanging outside in bunches, laughing and smoking and leaving empty beer cans and the stench of Camels in the walkways.
maybe it was because there were no sidewalks, no pathways, and no way of getting out short of braving a treacherous climb.
or maybe... maybe it was because i just got sick and tired of dealing with it all.
And I have to say, I am ready to move out.
A lot of people, when I told them the news, wanted to know why.
A few of my answers were...
maybe it was because of the poorly worded leasing contract, or the surprise month-in-advance we had to pay because we had no credit (good OR bad.)
maybe it was because the windows shaking out of their frames every time we had a little storm, and having to protect my things by stuffing towels and clothes in the window sill.
maybe it was because they only have TWO washing machines, and TWO dryers, for over 50 apartments.
maybe it was because there was not a single time in the entire year that both washers and both dryers all worked at the same time.
maybe it was because there was always construction, with noisy, rude workers. or maybe it was because they never seemed to even bother with tidying up after the job was done, leaving nails and rusted screws on my front doorstep, half-painted railings, and a roof that still leaks.
maybe it was because the air conditioning units haven't been cleaned once since they were put in, or that they weren't sealed up properly.
maybe it was because as soon as spring came around, there was no stopping the bugs from getting in, and no help getting them back out.
maybe it was because every storm that hit flooded the parking lot, or that management never came out to clean up afterwards.
maybe it was because of the swarms of gnats in my kitchen, the hordes of spiders in my bathroom, or the countless dead insects stuck between the window panes.
maybe it was because of the drug busts that kept us cooped up inside our apartment, fearful, for three hours, then two, then three again.
maybe it was because of the angry couples fighting in the lot, throwing beds and speakers and car jacks through windows and doorways and over railings.
maybe it was because of the crowds of barely 20s hanging outside in bunches, laughing and smoking and leaving empty beer cans and the stench of Camels in the walkways.
maybe it was because there were no sidewalks, no pathways, and no way of getting out short of braving a treacherous climb.
or maybe... maybe it was because i just got sick and tired of dealing with it all.
Saturday, March 6
Walking
Went out to the park today with B and my best friend. We walked the trails, watching the geese, the joggers, and the squirrels. Talked about how if you squint your eyes and tilt your head a little bit, that one mossy green rock looks almost like the evil lizard from a kid's movie we like to watch together and laugh at.
Currently sitting over at my mother-in-law's home with my husband, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend, my step-father-in-law and his daughter, and B. About to eat some delicious looking sausage and mashed potatoes with all the fixings.
Currently sitting over at my mother-in-law's home with my husband, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend, my step-father-in-law and his daughter, and B. About to eat some delicious looking sausage and mashed potatoes with all the fixings.
Tuesday, March 2
Relationships
Relationships are hard. That seems to be the only one thing about relationships that never changes.
I have had people talk to me about getting into a relationship, getting through a break-up, proposing, getting married, getting divorced, and trying to work things out.
All that I can tell them all is that relationships are hard, and sometimes you just have to figure things out for yourself.
I have had people talk to me about getting into a relationship, getting through a break-up, proposing, getting married, getting divorced, and trying to work things out.
All that I can tell them all is that relationships are hard, and sometimes you just have to figure things out for yourself.
Saturday, February 27
Things you shouldn't do in the park
So I was walking out in the park today. There is a nice long trail that takes you through the woods and such. As B and I were walking along the trail, we saw many interesting things.
First were the squirrels. Normally, squirrels aren't all that interesting, at least not for me. Today though, it was what these squirrels were fighting over. They were fighting over a cheeseburger.
Then we passed a family that seemed to be out for a little picnic. They had the basket, the bikes, the songs... the only thing they seemed to be missing? Their kids! The pair, not more than four or five years old, had stopped on the trail to look at some wildflowers without any of the adults noticing, including the guy pulling their wagon.
Next odd thing we came to on the trail today wasn't actually on the trail, but rather in the creek off to the side. We stopped, like we normally do, to look at the geese who have stopped at a certain bend in the creek. Two of the geese this afternoon must have been in a particularly festive mood, because they had on bright blue collars. I'm not sure whether it was a tracking device, or simply some piece of trash that got caught around their necks. Either way, it was a bit odd to see that bright blue among all the gray and white.
On the way home, we spotted a man jogging the other way. Well, I guess he was jogging before we spotted him, but certainly not after the spectacular face-plant he managed to pull by tripping over a branch across the trail.
All in all, it made for quite an interesting walk.
First were the squirrels. Normally, squirrels aren't all that interesting, at least not for me. Today though, it was what these squirrels were fighting over. They were fighting over a cheeseburger.
Then we passed a family that seemed to be out for a little picnic. They had the basket, the bikes, the songs... the only thing they seemed to be missing? Their kids! The pair, not more than four or five years old, had stopped on the trail to look at some wildflowers without any of the adults noticing, including the guy pulling their wagon.
Next odd thing we came to on the trail today wasn't actually on the trail, but rather in the creek off to the side. We stopped, like we normally do, to look at the geese who have stopped at a certain bend in the creek. Two of the geese this afternoon must have been in a particularly festive mood, because they had on bright blue collars. I'm not sure whether it was a tracking device, or simply some piece of trash that got caught around their necks. Either way, it was a bit odd to see that bright blue among all the gray and white.
On the way home, we spotted a man jogging the other way. Well, I guess he was jogging before we spotted him, but certainly not after the spectacular face-plant he managed to pull by tripping over a branch across the trail.
All in all, it made for quite an interesting walk.
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